When Sex Isn’t Private: Ten tips to block out loud sex
What do you do when you are stuck in a room next to people that are loud fornicators? This recently happened to me but I was too tired to respond the way I wanted to. If I had it to do over again this is what I would have done. I think I should first note that hotel walls are thin. That using whips and chains is not exciting to your neighbors and those pet names although personable should not be used in a hotel room. I am forever scared by “Oh hunk, my hunk, hunk.” I think that is what she was screaming it was a bit muffled by my embarrassment and complete shock and the banging of the headboard also obstructed my ability to clearly identify the participant’s namesakes.
I knew what I was doing when I hoisted myself onto the barstool next to him. He would not remember me, but I had the cutest story to remind him, even cuter than he was. It was Sunday and there were one dollar Rolling Rocks at the restaurant across the street from the laundry mat in my neighborhood. Not a bad way to pass the time between cycles.
Jay had been one of the Assistant Principals at the first high school I worked at in town. I was on the campus for underclassmen and he was on the campus for upperclassmen. As I shimmied my bar stool closer to the bar, he turned and caught my eye. Smiling, I said “Hi, Mr. Brown.” With squinting eyes, as if to focus, he cocked his head and smiled. “Don’t worry, it has been a few years, we worked together at North.” He casually put his head down and bashfully, but flirtatiously said he did not remember. Being there was about a decade and a pinch between us, I think he may have been relieved that I was not a former student.
My beer arrived, and I treated him to the story of the day I was on the ‘big kid’ campus to turn in some coaching paperwork when the bell rang and he urged me to “go to class young lady.” When I turned to face him and he saw the faculty badge he was as embarrassed that day as he was amused this day. We shared some friendly banter and laughter. I went to switch loads, fearful he would not be there when I returned. I was pleased when I found him right where I left him. We exchanged numbers, as I knew my laundry would be crispy dry and my afternoon beer enjoyment would be wrapping up. He slid off his stool with a kiss to my cheek and a promise to call. As I summoned my check I was charmed to find that Mr. Brown had paid for my Rolling Rocks and late afternoon snack while I was switching my last load. Nice move, very nice move.
He kept his promise and we had a few wonderful low key dates. I knew that he was divorced with a preteen and teenager. This did not bother me. I always thought I would be a great step-mom. Every other weekend would be just fine with me. I could be the cool step-mom that they would tell everything to. After all I was the cool teacher that wished her students wouldn’t tell her so much. I secretly hoped they would like me enough to take care of me in old age.
married several times
I knew that the husband of one of the staff trainers at my school worked with Jay, so I did some poking around as casually as only I can. Which is basically “Hey Martha, your husband works with Jay Brown, what can you tell me?” While Martha was excited to hear I was dating, she did make a remark about the age difference. And then…”you know he has been married three times. That would make you his fourth wife if this keeps going.”
I liked him. I liked him quite a bit. But I certainly did not want to be anyone’s fourth wife if he was going to be my first husband and only. I am old school on this one; I am only doing it once. The lesson here, vet him, just like a political candidate. If you have the means from a reliable and hopefully discreet source check out your beau! I wish him the best in finding a companion. Sorry Mr. Brown, it was just not going to be this girl.
I meet this guy online. This is our Dating story.On paper, he has the makings of a potential match. Attractive, successful,
witty, well traveled, etc. We start with the email exchanges through the online dating site. It
goes well. He’s intellectual but goofy. Successful but not cocky. Flirty but in an adorable way,
not an inappropriate way. We move the party to our real emails and eventually to the phone &
text. More of the same. We seem to have the same sense of humor and enjoy interacting. After
a few weeks, we decide that we should meet. We live about 500 miles away, so we can’t exactly
meet for drinks or dinner. He lives in a city where one of my girlfriends also lives, so I plan a
trip. I will spend a couple of days with him and a couple of days with her. And if it’s not going
well with him, I can always escape to her house. Solid plan.
As it turns out, backup plan not needed. We have a FANTASTIC time. He picks me up at the
airport. He is even better looking in person than in his online pictures. Bonus. We spend our
days together touring the city, getting massages, going to dinners. We talk, we laugh, we really
enjoy ourselves. He compliments me throughout about how much he’s attracted to me, how
much he can’t stop cuddling me (which is apparently unusual for him), how he loves that I have
a strong personality and I am not intimidated by him. We act like goofballs together and love it.
There is mutual attraction and it’s obvious.
Dating Story Continues
After three nights, I go hang out with my girlfriend. We have a blast catching up, deconstructing
my past few days & analyzing her current dating woes. I spend a couple of days with her and on
what is supposed to be my last night with her, she gets called into work for the next day at 5am.
Bummer. I don’t have to be at the airport until around 2pm. So, I call Tall Drink of Water and
let him know what was going on. He was supposed to be my ride to the airport anyway, but my
friend wasn’t supposed to be going to work until noon and we were going to spend the morning
together. I tell him, he can pick me up as scheduled or earlier in the morning or that night. His
choice. He wants to come get me that night so we can spend more time together. Cool! Good
He picks me up and we have another great night. We have breakfast at a fabulous place in the
morning and go for a nice drive and then we head for the airport. He drops me off. Kisses
me goodbye several times. Texts me while I’m sitting on the plane. And I’m off for home. I
let him know I got home safely per his request. I hear nothing. Day 1 passes. Day 2 passes.
Hmmm. OK. I don’t have to play the “only the man can call game.” I call. He seems fairly
disinterested, very distracted – says I caught him in the middle of work. OK. Benefit of the
doubt, but I’m suspect. 5 days pass. Another conversation much of the same. Next day, I get
a text. He’s in San Diego running a marathon and the text says: “San Diego is pretty darn nice!
You are missing it!” Huh? Was I invited? Have you even shown one ounce of interest since I
We have another conversation when he gets back. He says he knows that he is not meeting my
needs. He says he knows that I would like to talk more often and communicate more. But much
like how he likes his peas and carrots separated when he eats, he likes to compartmentalize his
life. When I was there, he devoted his attention exclusively to me and put everything else on
hold, including work (true) and so after I left, he needed to focus on the things that he had not
focused on while I was there and get caught up. He said it would be different if I lived there
and we could see each other whenever we wanted to but since I live somewhere else, it was
complicated and he had a lot on his plate that he needed to focus on. He thought I’d understand
that when he got caught up, he’d be in touch more.More
On the way out of an all day concert a girlfriend and I started talking to two guys, the respective interested parties exchanged numbers. Her guy started calling immediately, I think maybe before we left the parking lot. Knowing that the day’s sweat and beer had wiped any of my cuteness I did not expect a call from the handsome and witty gentleman I exchanged numbers with. He was a Nicholas Cage look alike with darker features.
A few days passed and no call, but my girlfriend called to report that she was being swamped with calls from the overzealous guy she had met. A traits she found a complete turn off. She asked if I would call his friend, we shall call him my generation’s Nicholas Cage (MGNC), to explain that she was not interested. Yes, we were that young that she would not tell him herself.
I called MGNC to do my duty. He of course, thought it was an excuse to call him. The conversation went well and my witty side made an appearance long enough for him to ask me to dinner. Dinner went well and with his voice, velvety- also much like Nicholas Cage, I was invited back to his apartment. We were engaged in some fairly innocent kissing in his bedroom when there was a knock at the door. To get to the front door, you would have passed the bedroom window. Although the blinds were closed, the visitor had been able to detect the activity behind the blinds.
Two Girls and One Guy
What happened next was embarrassing for all involved. She obviously thought she was still in a relationship with MGNC, as he did not. There was yelling, the throwing of a watch, and a rather harsh thud as he was pushed into the door. I was frozen. At 6’0 tall I have been scared of very few women. But this chick was pissed. Finally she left and he took me home. We saw each other for a bit longer. And then he took his good looks and movie star voice to LA. He has had some success with commercials and reoccurring roles in series.
I have been on both sides of this situation since. When a relationship wanes, there is discussion of a “break,” or “seeing other people.” Both parties try to hold on to what was good. They continue to hang out, maybe occasionally sleep together. For the guy it is over. Know that for a guy there are no nuances, there is on and there is off. In his mind he has been set free. The girl thinks she is going to be notified when he starts seeing someone else. She is not. This does not make him bad, this makes it simple.
There seems to be a virus going around….spreading like wildfire and taking no prisoners. It’s as if the single women of my generation all underwent a brainwashing simultaneously. Was it zombies? Werewolves? A sign of the apocalypse? I’m not sure but I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.
I call it the “happily single” disease. It goes like this: Ask a woman in her 30’s if she’s married and if she’s not married/engaged/living with someone/in a serious relationship, she’ll say, “No, I’m happily single.” Wait a second. Did the question ask anything about her feelings? Nope. She’s just offering it. What is she trying to tell you?
Is she saying that she’s happiER being single than she would be not single? Doubtful. Maybe in a few cases, but not in every case. That simply wouldn’t make any sense. If that were true, all new relationships would cease to start and we’d have no more marriages. That isn’t happening anytime soon.More
It is late and the bars are emptying and there she sits. She is the Last Call Girl. She checks her cell phone. Then she places it in her bag. She scans the room for a guy. Then she nervously reaches into her bag wondering if he has called. She waits for the guy who stood her up a week ago to call her. It is after midnight and the day has past. She is awaiting his call. She can help but think of him. They met once but it must have meant something to him. I mean it had to have. Why hasn’t he texted her? She is thelast call girl.
The Last Call Girl
Okay, so I believe there are three types of girls when it comes to dating. There is the lunch date. That is the girl a guy takes out to lunch. He isn’t sure if she is “just a friend” or something more. He takes her to lunch to feel out her feeling for him. He is interested but maybe not really interested.
Then there is the dinner date girl. She has been invited out to a date at night with the hopes that there is some spark there. He has committed to sitting across from her for at least a meal. He feels confident that she will at the very least amuse him through the meal. If not then she must be good enough to look out for an hour or more. He has the option of taking her out somewhere else or taking her home. The dinner date girl is usually someone that he is attracted to.
The last girl is what I call the last call girl. The bar is closing or the night is ending and he hasn’t met anyone else. He decides to text someone or call someone at a ridiculous hour. It is not his intent to make you the dinner date girl. If it was he would have invited you to dinner. It is his intent to avoid being alone by calling the last call girl. You will never be the dinner date girl if you accept being the last call girl.
These are my instructions to all you ladies who have become or are thinking of becoming the last call girl. Give your phone to a friend and ask them to hold it. Do not make plans with someone after they have gone out. If they want to see you then they can take you out. Do not text or answers texts at ridiculous hours. You are busy. I do not care if your are busy smelling perfume in a magazine you are so busy that you can’t text, call, or visit someone who thinks you are the last call girl!
I will say this many times on this site. You teach people how to treat you by accepting unacceptable behavior. You are worth being more than “the last call girl”. The last call girl is the person that he calls when all else has failed. When the bar is closing and he hasn’t found anyone else. He isn’t calling you because your who he wants he is calling you because you are who is left.
Message for the day: If you pick up that phone he will never respect your time. You are more important and more valuable than being the “LAST Call Girl!”
Yes, ladies and gents it is perfectly acceptable to forward this to a friend who doesn’t get it just say, “Amee said…. and give them the https://lovelaughterforeverafter.com/the-last-call-girl/ url. ”