When Sex Isn’t Private: Ten tips to block out loud sex

loud sex

When Sex Isn’t Private: Ten tips to block out loud sex

 

What do you do when you are stuck in a room next to people that are loud fornicators? This recently happened to me but I was too tired to respond the way I wanted to. If I had it to do over again this is what I would have done. I think I should first note that hotel walls are thin. That using whips and chains is not exciting to your neighbors and those pet names although personable should not be used in a hotel room. I am forever scared by “Oh hunk, my hunk, hunk.” I think that is what she was screaming it was a bit muffled by my embarrassment and complete shock and the banging of the headboard also obstructed my ability to clearly identify the participant’s namesakes.

tipes to block out loud sex

When Sex Isn’t Private: Ten tips to block out loud sex 

If I was in this position again this is what I would have done:

1)   Open up my door and bang on theirs while shouting “home run” before they opened the door. I would quietly closely my door and pretending that I was asleep.

2)   I would have called next store and offered detailed instructions as to what it was that she liked. “ Hey, Hunk the feedback was more to the left and a little harder.”

3)   I would have slipped a note under the door with a report card in excellence of handling “Hunk”.

4)   I would have ordered them bottled water from room service. They must be thirsty right?

5)   I would have chimed in with a round of loud applause from our adjoining balcony. I think it is important to recognize people after a performance.

6)   I would have liked to taken streamers and weave them across the door . Inside of the streamers I would have like to placed blown up condoms. This would allow the condoms to meet the couple when they open their door.

7)   I should have reported the noise to the front desk and allowed them to deal with it. I mean customer service is their job and I wasn’t being serviced.

8)   I could have done what anyone good citizen should do is bang on the wall shouting, “Is everyone all right in there.” Should I call the police? I would have done so at the top of my lungs until the entire floor was also worried?

9) I could have turned on my TV to Elmo and blasted Elmo’s world. That kills the mood every time. I am positive this would have worked or MOM what is daddy doing to you? That would also work.

10) The final resolution that I would suggest is easy just mimic them. If you think about nothing is more annoying then hearing yourself or seeing yourself.

I am sure you are wondering what I actually did. I actually placed the pillow over my head. I shut my eyes. I put on my white noise on my iPhone and I went to sleep. I had been traveling for 26 hours because of a United Airline’s Disaster and I wasn’t remotely interested in being part of the experience next store. The next day I did share what happened next store with my friends and we came up with these fail -safe resolution to the loud fornicators.

Topic: Ten tips to block out loud sex

Comments

  1. I think the most effective on this is turning your TV on. Surely it will make a loud sound that will cover you.
    click here recently posted..Hot Links! This Is What Happens When Cutting Edge Designers Get Their Hands on BarbieMy Profile

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge